New Beginning

I guess you can tell that I had forgotten about my blog. Not one of my top priorities for quite a while. In fact, I didn't think it was worth my time or energy but I have felt that I needed to get back to it for over a month now. I feel like God has been telling me to write - about what I don't know. I don't even think I am a good writer so I don't know what He has in store for me. I do know that He has pushed me, challenged me, loved me, and held me together when I didn't think I could take anymore over this past year. I have actually had a stirring to do something different for the past few years. I just dealt with it by saying we can't afford for me to do anything else. I have to keep my teaching job for us to make it. Well when we started studying Nehemiah in January I couldn't ignore what God was trying to tell me. I couldn't believe I was even thinking about leaving my job, especially when we were barely getting by with both of our jobs. I didn't have peace about it until I put in my resignation at HCA. I had peace but no one else in my family felt the same way - except the kids. You want to talk about putting a strain on your marriage when it was already struggling! I dealt with it, well I say I dealt with it, by ignoring the comments and trying to avoid the subject. I can't put into words what I felt and what I was going through. I am sure I looked crazy to others! I had just left a 17 year teaching career, insurance, stability, etc. I just wanted to be at home with my children. I felt that God wanted me at home with them and I knew in my heart that He would provide for us. Faith - I have never had faith like this. Was I always positive through this whole experience? Was my faith what it should have been all of the time? No way! I had some very hard days and nights. There were times when I felt I had failed my family  and that I had just heard God wrong. I felt that He had brought me home and then left me. I went through so many thoughts and emotions. Was it fun? Do I want to go through it again? Absolutely not! I do know that through all of this He was and is there for me and I have grown as a Christian and I have a stronger relationship with my Lord and Savior. I am also happy to say that I have a stronger relationship with my husband and children. My husband still doesn't like how I handled things and I do see his point. I look back and see how wrong I was to make such big decisions without his input. I had a selfish and hard hard toward him and I am happy to say that my heart has softened and we have been repairing our relationship. We lost the teamwork somewhere over the past 16 years. I can't tell you how happy I am to have my partner back. We still don't agree on everything - and we never will. :-) But we have each other's back and we love each other and want to spend the rest of our lives together. I am blessed to have a husband who loves me and our children so very much!
So...still not sure about writing. I don't know if He just wants me to blog or something more. I know He has put people in my life and books and blogs that have helped me grow this year. I'm not sure what He has in store for me but I know it will be greater than I ever imagined as long as I follow His will and ask Him to lead me.

A New Year!

Well I haven't been on here in quite a while. October, November, and December were gone before I knew it. I guess it went so fast because I was enjoying each day. I have spent years stressed out and worried about so many things. I can finally say that I have given God complete control of my life and I couldn't be happier! I have learned to relax and enjoy all the many blessings He gives us - especially my family. I have learned to slow down and spend more time with Him and focus on His word. I just received my new book yesterday and it is amazing. It is Breaking Free Day by Day by Beth Moore. I caught up through today but I didn't want to put it down. I am also starting a study about David with Beth Moore - Annointed, Transformed, Redeemed. I can feel God working in my life even as my family makes some tough decisions. I know I shouldn't take on anything else but I just signed up as a new Thirty-One Gifts consultant. I had been thinking about it for months but it finally seemed like the right time. I signed up under one of my friends. She told me how God has blessed her and her family through this company. I am hoping it will help with the financial burden we are facing right now but it is much more than that. I am so excited about this new adventure and can't wait to see what God has in store for me. I feel that He led me to this. Their mission sticks with me - Proverbs 31 - Celebrate, Encourage, and Reward. We as women wear so many hats and it is wonderful to be able to celebrate and encourage each other. Will there be monetary rewards? I don't know. I believe there will be other rewards or blessings that are so much more important than money. 2010 was a rough year for my family but I can see that we are stronger and happier. I am so excited about this new year and what it will bring for us.
I have created a new blog - http://melissas31.blogspot.com/

Reagan's 7th Birthday

Digital scrapbooking design made with Smilebox

Our Reagie Bug

Finally!! Time to sit out on the deck and relax a little bit and catch up. I didn't get to add this to my blog on Reagan's birthday like I wanted to. I just can't believe my middle baby is 7. We did pull out the baby book on his birthday and I told him how much I loved holding him and kissing his fat rolls! You would never know how chubby he was by looking at him today. I am so proud of my Reagan! He is so inquisitive, sweet, funny, and he is crazy about Legos!! I was worried about homeschooling at first but he makes it fun. I want to stay home and homeschool but that's just not possible right now. Maybe next year. I just think of all the fun and wonderful things we could do if I could be with them all day. It is in God's hands so we will see what He has planned for me. I hate that Kelly lost his job but I can also see the blessing in it. He has spent more time with the kids and I can see the result. I love to see them hugging on him and playing together and now Kelly and the boys are doing Boy Scouts together. I can see their relationship getting stronger and stronger. Even though times get tough I just have to remember that we are so blessed and that we have a Savior who loves us and takes care of us!
Happy Birthday to my sweet, sweet Reagie Bug!!

Busy!

It is quite an understatement when I say I have been busy! I don't know how I have made it through some days. I think I can be superwoman and then get upset when I am not. I have spent more time reading God's word and praying. I have to get those in or I would have already fallen apart. I have a verse that I go to a lot! Psalm 31:3 For You are my rock and my fortress; Therefore, for Your name's sake, Lead me and guide me. I gave this verse to my students at the beginning of the year with a small rock and told them to remember the verse and hold on to their rock this year to help them get through the tough times. I have found myself holding my rock quite a bit lately. I pray that God will send me a sign of what I need to do. It is so hard teaching and trying to homeschool Reagan. I don't feel like I can do my best because I don't have the time to really focus on one or the other. Reagan seems to be enjoying homeschool. He loves to be challenged and he is so loving! I wish I could work part-time or find something that doesn't take the planning and grading that I have to do right now. I pray that Kelly would find a job with good pay and benefits that would allow me to spend more time at home. It is hard for me to be patient and maybe that's what God is trying to teach me right now. I don't know what His plans are for me and my family but I know He is there and He knows. I just have to remind myself to be patient and have faith that He will provide and make His plans known in His time. Lead me and guide me Lord and give me the strength to keep going!

This is the day the LORD has made;We will rejoice and be glad in it.

What a beautiful day! Everyone is still asleep and I am enjoying some quiet time on the deck. I love sittng out here watching the ducks on the pond, listening to the birds, and I even saw a hummingbird checking out my flowers this morning. It is not too hot or humid yet so I have to enjoy this while I can. I just read Psalm 46. The one thing that stood out to me this morning was "Be still, and know that I am God". I have a hard time being still and just focusing on Him. That is something I am constantly working on. This morning was perfect though. I have been thinking about the first part of this year. We have gone through some tough times but I am finally seeing the good that has come out some of the situations. I feel like my family is stronger and I am a stronger person. I have learned to lean on God more and trust that He will take care of us. What an amazing feeling that is! I don't know what the rest of the year will be like for us, probably very busy with school getting ready to start and me trying to homeschool for the first time. No matter what though, I can take it with my Father watching over me.

Homeschooling!

Wow!! I am just a little overwhelmed and amazed at all the homeschool resources out there. I was nervous when we decided to take Reagan out of school and homeschool him. Now I am so excited for us! I think we are going to have a wonderful year. It is going to be a challenge with me working full-time at HCA and part-time for LTC but I am committed to making this work. I also found some great resources for Kathereine. She can "go to school" too! Thank you to all the wonderful homeschooling parents out there who have provided so many cheap and free resources! I appreciate all the help I can get.